Searching for the Truth13
by ks
Summary: Something big happens to Jess, Ezra finds something out about David, and Daisy does the unexpected, A lot more...Please Review


A/N: Sorry it wasn't out sooner. I've been real busy lately with the holidays and all. I will have the next chapter of Life's A Dance up sometime this week-I promise. Well, thanks for the reviews and please keep reviewing!   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with Higher Ground   
  
  
Searching for the Truth13  
  
  
Your head will always tell you what is right, while your heart will always tell you what is best.-ks  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Scott watched as Shelby walked back towards the girl's cabin. He couldn't be much at happier at the moment, she had talked with him and he had been able to at least try and explain why he left. He slowly stood up and brushed the dirt off his knees and then began walking back towards the boy's cabin.   
  
  
  
  
Shelby walked over to her bed and plopped down on it. She still didn't understand why that every time she got around Scott she would tell him everything. She had told him how she felt about him leaving, and how she was confused about what to say to Jess. She never talked with anyone that openly, except for Daisy. She was so used to keeping it all in and hiding it, but that 'gift' seemed to vanish when she got around Scott…  
  
  
  
  
Scott shoved his hands in his pockets and slightly bent his head down. The wind was picking up, but he had decided he didn't want to go in yet. He still had some thinking to do. He wanted to know where he stood with Shelby. He was relieved that they were friends now, and that they could talk with each other about anything, but he still loved her and he wanted to know if she felt the same… His mind was churning over time, trying to think of something that could let Shelby know how much he really does love her… He thought back to what Daisy had said, 'eyes are the windows to the soul'. When talking with Shelby earlier he had never made eye contact, now that was something that he planned to do…  
  
"It's the way to find the truth," he muttered to himself.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
David looked over at Ezra who still had his gaze on the ceiling. David was so confused now. He had actually told Ezra, the one person who he wanted everyone to think he despised--that he hadn't found himself. David raised his fist to his forehead and beat it against it a few times. He then cursed himself for being so stupid…  
  
"You'll never hear the end since you showed Ezzzra your soft side," he spat at himself silently.  
  
He then clasped his hands together and rested his head on them. Maybe he had taken a step to showing the real him…  
  
  
  
  
Ezra continued staring at the ceiling. The only thing going through his mind was the thought of how so many of those little dots could be on the ceiling, and none of them ever get into a fight…  
  
"Just like Daisy is going to do with me," he thought to himself disgustedly.   
  
He had cursed and kicked himself over and over for going through Daisy's personal belongings. It hadn't helped though. Somehow she would find out about, and he felt guilty enough already.   
  
"Jerk," he told himself as he closed his eyes, hoping to sleep the nightmare away.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jess ran up the steps of her cabin and rushed inside. She observed the room around her, making sure it was empty. She then closed the door behind her and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door.   
  
She began pacing back and forth, running her hands through her hair; trying to get all the thoughts that were presently running through her head to go away.   
  
"They'll never go away you heard what Shelby said," she reminded herself. "They are here to stay, here to haunt you forever."   
  
She abruptly stopped her pacing and ran over to the sink, looking for something, anything, to relieve her from her pain… She threw the toothbrush over her shoulder, followed by a washcloth, can of hairspray, and a towel. She finally came across what she was looking for-something sharp. She pulled the razor out of the small bag and grabbed a bar of soap. She walked back over to the bathroom door and sat up against it, hoping her body weight would prevent anyone from coming in, at least for the moment. She held the razor out in front of her, gently rotating it in between her thumb an index finger. She had never cut herself before, she had only heard people talk about it.   
  
She leaned her back up against the door…  
  
*Flashback*   
  
Jess: Can you save my life, too?   
  
Peter: Yeah, I can try  
  
*********  
  
Sophie: The rules here are simple. There's no drugs, no sex, and no violence  
  
*********  
  
Ruby: Yeah, your sister and Scott were real close  
  
Lisa: Then he left  
  
*********  
  
Jess: You scared me  
  
David: Sorry   
  
David: Why you crying?  
  
Jess: I was just doing some thinking  
  
Jess: What are you doing out here instead of with your group?  
  
David: What are you doing out here instead of with your group?  
  
Jess: I needed some time to myself  
  
David: So did I…  
  
*********  
  
Jess: My name is Jessica Merrick, I'm Shelby's sister   
  
Scott: Nice to see you again  
  
*********  
  
David: Yeah, well, I gotta go  
  
Jess: Ok.   
  
Jess: Um…  
  
David: *sarcastically* You hope we can do this again some time?  
  
Jess: Not really  
  
David: Shux  
  
Jess: Could you not tell Shelby that you saw me crying, she already has a lot on her.  
  
David: Ok, my lips are zipped   
  
Jess: Thanks  
  
*********  
  
Sophie: Jess honey, do you want to tell me how you feel about Scott coming back?  
  
Jess: I don't know what to say   
  
Sophie: It isn't rehearsed Jess, just say what you feel   
  
Jess: I don't really know him, so there isn't anything I need to say   
  
Sophie: Say what you feel. It is just between us so don't worry about anyone else finding out about it  
  
Jess: I know that he and Shelby were real close, then he left her   
  
Jess: It hurt Shelby, so it hurt me   
  
Sophie: You are right honey, it did hurt Shelby, and I'm sure it hurt Scott, too. Things will be ok though   
  
Jess: Shelby was doing good here though, she really liked this place. Now she is pulling away from everyone again, including me.   
  
Jess: I don't understand why she can't talk to me about Scott. I am her sister   
  
Sophie: You are, and she loves you. Maybe you should ask her about that  
  
Jess: I think I will   
  
Sophie: Good   
  
Jess: Were they in love?   
  
Sophie: That is something you will have to ask Shelby   
  
Sophie: Is there a particular reason why you ask?  
  
Jess: Just being nosy   
  
*********  
Ezra: So you are related to Shelby after all  
  
Jess: Yes, I guess I am   
  
*********  
  
Jess: Shelby, can we talk?  
  
Shelby: Ok  
  
*********  
  
Ezra: You know, if you want to talk to her all you gotta do is go over there  
  
Jess: I don't know what to say  
  
Ezra: 'Hey' is usually a good start   
  
Jess: She warned me about you and your weird sense of humor   
  
Jess: I like it  
  
Ezra: I'll keep that in mind   
  
Jess: Good   
  
*********  
Jess: I'm scared   
  
Shelby: What do you mean, Jess? You're safe here, there's nothing to be afraid of.   
  
Jess: I'm not talking about Horizon, Shelby-I'm talking about life…  
  
Jess: I'm scared about Walt, and I'm also scared about Scott.   
  
Shelby: I'm not following you, Jess.  
  
Jess: Shelby, Walt did to me what he did to you. I know that you understand how it feels, so you are the only person who is going to understand this.  
  
Shelby: It's ok Jess, you can tell me.   
  
Jess: I know what I want to say, it's just hard to explain… Shelby, Walt hurt me, but in more ways than one. He didn't just scar me on the outside, but on the inside as well. He's always going to be with me, in my memories, and that terrifies me…  
  
Jess: I've talked with a lot of the Cliffhangers, and according to them, you and Scott were really close. That is something else that frightens me. You two were close, but then something happened. I don't understand… I guess what I'm trying to say is; is it possible to be loved after what happened to me, to us?  
  
Shelby: I know how you feel, Jess. I have nightmares, too. I know it isn't fair, and I can't promise you that they will ever go away, but I can promise you that you can always talk to me about them. I also know you're mad about what Walt did, and you have every right to be. Just remember, I understand, and a lot of other people will try to, and that's really all you can ask for.   
  
Shelby: As for Scott and me, we were close, and yes it is possible to love and be loved-for who you really are.   
  
Jess: Did he know you?   
  
Shelby: Yes, and he eventually understood me, and I understood him.   
  
Jess: Did you love him?   
  
Shelby: Yeah, I did…  
  
*********  
  
Jess: You hurt me.  
  
Shelby: How, Jess?  
  
Jess: When you left. You left me all alone with Walt. You could have taken me with you, you could have stayed and helped me…  
  
Shelby: Jess, I'm sorry I left. I just had to get away. I never thought he would turn on you, he promised he wouldn't.   
  
Shelby: I have nightmares about that, too. I think, that if I would have never left, then none of that would have ever happened to you. I think-I think sometimes that it's all my fault and I really don't even deserve to live.   
  
Jess: It isn't you fault, Shelby. I wanted to run, too, so many times… I just never had the guts to do it until after you had been sent here. You're stronger than me, you did have the guts…  
  
Shelby: YOU are strong, and never forget it.   
  
Jess pressed her lips together and shook her head  
  
Jess: I won't   
  
Shelby: We're Merricks, we have to be strong; it's in our blood   
  
*********  
  
Jess: I just wanted to let you know, I got my answers  
  
Sophie: Good…  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
  
Jess opened her eyes and looked down at her arm. She was bleeding-she had cut herself. She fought back the tears at the sight of the blood.   
  
"Were these the answers I found," she thought to herself.  
  
She had talked things out with Shelby earlier, and come to the conclusion Shelby had too much pressure on her already. Jess didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else yet, so this was an escape from the pain she was feeling… All the memories she had just had, they did nothing but confuse and hurt her more. Walt would live on forever, no matter what, and she had to escape the pain…  
  
She looked down at her arm and picked up the bar of soap. She ran the soap over the cut and watched at the bar of soap quickly turned red. She shivered at the sight, and the next thing she knew all was black…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Daisy walked up the steps of Peter's office and walked into the building. She walked up to the door and knocked on it thirteen times. She shifted her weight, hoping someone would answer it soon…  
  
"Come in Daisy"   
  
She heard the voice and walked into the room. Peter was sitting behind his desk, a smirk on his face. Daisy walked over and sat in a chair across from Peter's desk.  
  
Daisy: *dryly* How'd you know it was me; was it the knock?   
  
Peter rolled his eyes and tried to contain a laugh. Only Daisy would knock on the door thirteen times…  
  
Peter: I presume you have a paper for me to read?  
  
Daisy pulled out the paper and offered it to him  
  
Daisy: *dryly* The eyes are the windows to the soul   
  
Peter nodded his head as he took the paper and carefully laid it on his desk. He then put his elbows on the desk and clasped his hands together…  
  
Peter: Is that why you hide?   
  
Daisy looked up at him, a bit shocked by the question  
  
Peter: Do you want anyone to see the real you, Dais?  
  
Daisy quickly shook out of her thoughts and gained her composure  
  
Daisy: *dryly* If one fears being seen, then one doesn't deserve to falsely be seen  
  
With this Daisy slowly stood up and walked out of the room.  
  
Peter: I've got to get through to her  
  
He put his head in his hands and sighed  
  
Peter: I've got to…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
David slowly dragged himself up from his position. He rubbed his back, which was very sore since he had been sitting on the floor for at least a couple of hours. He then rubbed the top of his head with the palm of his hand, trying to come back to his sense. He walked over to Ezra and stared down at him, pondering whether or not he should wake him up. He looked around the room, making sure no one else was around…  
  
David: Well Ezzzra, looks like Peter was right. I do need to show the real me.   
  
He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the sheet of paper Peter had given him   
  
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not," he whispered to himself.  
  
David put the peace of paper back in his pocket as a nervous smile formed on his face  
  
David: Some times I wonder if I'm either. I'm acting like the agitating guy that I made up back when I was like ten, and everyone hates me. If I find the real David Ruxton, I'll still be hate, but ya know, that would hurt even more. If I were hated for being myself that'd really hurt me, and believe it or not I actually have feelings.   
  
David hung is head, but then looked back up, a fake smile replacing his frown.  
  
David: Guess that'll never happen though  
  
He rolled his eyes and turned to walk out of the room…  
  
  
  
  
Ezra opened his eyes once he was positive David was gone. He slowly sat up in bed, a confused expression on his face  
  
Ezra: Now I don't know what to think…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
We were talking - about the space between us all   
[Peter reading Daisy's essay]  
And the people - who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion  
[Daisy walking towards the woods, tears forming in her eyes]  
Never glimpse of truth - then it's far too late - when they pass away   
[Jess lying on the floor motionless]  
We were talking - about the love we could all share - when we find it   
[Scott watching Shelby walk away]  
To try our best to hold it there - with our love  
[David walking alone, a frown on his face]   
With our love - We could save the world - if they only knew   
[Juliete laughing with Auggie]  
Try to realize it's all within yourself no-one else can make you change   
[Sophie watching Scott throw rocks up in the air]  
And to see you're really only very small, and life flows on  
[Peter walking out of his office]   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Peter walked out of his office, a new idea on his mind. The Cliffhangers were going through a hard time and they all needed to work through it-together. Group wouldn't do it, it had to be something else… and he knew what.  
  
  
  
Within and without you   
We were talking - about the love that's gone so cold and the people,   
[Ezra glaring at himself in the mirror]  
Who gain the world and lose their soul - then you may find,   
[Shelby laying on her bed in the dark]  
Peace of mind, is waiting there   
[David sitting in a tree]  
And the time will come when you see we're all one, and life flows on within and without you   
  
  
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I have a sprained wrist so sorry for any typos. I have a paper due this week so I'll do my best to post as soon as possible…  
  
Please Review!   
  
  



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